Dear Mr. FaulksNickFaulks wrote: ↑Mon Aug 14, 2023 7:15 pmI don't see why, particularly now. Jen has done it and is widely acknowledged as a heroine, with just a bit of unpleasantness from the usual suspects. Meanwhile, Ramirez is sunk.LawrenceCooper wrote: ↑Mon Aug 14, 2023 6:54 pmMy concern about this point is that someone who has been assaulted and wants to confide in someone and/or report it but is not ready to name the person may remain quiet if they feel they will be pressured into naming the person. I have no way of knowing how difficult it must be to speak up about such situations but suspect it must be one of the hardest things imaginable.
If Sabrina's abuser when she was a junior is who the chattering classes seem to think it is, then it would cost her absolutely nothing to say so - it's not as though she is out of the public gaze now anyway. If by any chance it isn't then, whatever one may think of that person, the present state of affairs is most unfair.
You do not know me, but you do seem to write as if you have every idea of what is going on in my life, or in my head.
Yes, I have not mentioned names.
There are several reasons for this:
1) There are indeed legal ramifications for this, as many have pointed out
2) I have been threatened by this man numerous times that should I ever leak anything, he would "ruin me".
3) I simply do not want to, and that's OK.
It's interesting how much admiration you have of Jen... you have mentioned her multiple times across posts. Would you like an introduction?
I'd like to address how it would "cost me absolutely nothing" to come forward.
Have you ever been a victim of sexual assault?
Have you ever spent years being emotionally manipulated by someone?
Have you ever been threatened and felt constantly on edge in a particular environment?
Do you consider re-living past trauma and re-visiting stories that mentally scarred you for decades "easy"?
Given the dismissive and condescending tone of your remarks, I presume the answer is "No" to all of these questions.
If so, then kindly refrain from assuming you understand just how "easy" this is.
I escaped from what I would consider a torture chamber many years ago and I have built up a really nice life for myself, one of which I'm extremely happy in.
I did what I thought would be a very quick Times Radio interview, but spoke honestly about my experiences in the industry.
I did not expect such a backlash from men. Yes, all the negativity so far has been from men.
However, multiple women came forward to thank me for speaking up. This is why I then recorded by personal video to them.
After which, I got more abuse.
Can you explain to me how I am benefitting from this in the slightest? I was extremely happy a week ago, living my new life. Now, I have been called every name under the sun, had lots of allegations against myself, lots of nasty abuse hurled at me online and I have to re-live through all this.
This has been an incredibly tough week and I'm really finding this all incredibly difficult to deal with. I can only describe it as PTSD with it dredging up everything that I've been through.
However, the fact that every single day, women are coming forward to tell me about their experiences makes it all worthwhile.
You have absolutely NO IDEA what goes on if you are writing messages like this. I would almost go as far as to predict that an incident happens at EVERY SINGLE TOURNAMENT where there is a woman.
You also have no idea what it's like living with these things for several years.
I was trapped in an environment where this was all normal. It was almost like Stockholm syndrome. Several other women are feeling the same.
If you cannot see it as an issue, then this is pretty disgraceful.
I understand you are part of the ECF and FIDE, and this would explain why we are in this situation.
I do not have to name names right now. I named names at the time and people didn't do anything. Why should I do it now? Because it suits you?!
I have 4 more stories to release this week. They are all about different people. This is not just one or two people, it's a general problem with the chess community and the ECF has sat on it for years.
Please feel free to read Story #3 too. What does the ECF have to say about all this treatment? I have plenty of people to corroborate all of those stories too.
Do not act as if you're superior to everyone.
If you are ignoring the issue of sexual assault, then you are complicit.
I will not be sticking around to engage in toxic debate about this topic, but I really wanted to drop in to say that multiple people have sent me the link to your comments and I am not impressed that an official representative of our governing bodies has such a disgusting attitude.
Apologies to everyone else on this forum who are supportive, caring and generally great humans.
It's not everyone, but it is the horrible few who ruin it for all.