Chess Limericks

Discuss anything you like about chess related matters in this forum.
Malcolm Peacock
Posts: 67
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:47 pm

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Malcolm Peacock » Fri May 30, 2014 5:11 pm

There once was a forum for chess
Where the poetry did not impress
I think it is plain
We should stick to the game
And why the ECF is a mess

Francis Fields
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:50 am
Location: London

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Francis Fields » Sat May 31, 2014 3:45 pm

I once played in a tournament in Chelyabinsk
My opponent He told me 'I am from Minsk!'
At the end of the game
I'd forgotten his name
But remember, his buttonhole was not pink!



Francis

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Michael Farthing
Posts: 2069
Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2014 1:28 pm
Location: Morecambe, Europe

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Michael Farthing » Sat May 31, 2014 5:02 pm

Malcolm Peacock wrote: There once was a forum for chess
Where the poetry did not impress
I think it is plain
We should stick to the game
And why the ECF is a mess
This one should win the prize!

Paul Habershon
Posts: 550
Joined: Sat Aug 07, 2010 5:51 pm

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Paul Habershon » Sat May 31, 2014 11:09 pm

Of these limericks I'm not a fan,
Because very few of them scan.
For goodness' sake mount
A syllable count,
Or chuck the whole thing down the pan.

Matt Fletcher
Posts: 271
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 9:42 pm

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Matt Fletcher » Sat May 31, 2014 11:32 pm

A quick one for Jon Bryant - my #chess180 nemesis...

There is a 180 from Streatham
Who can solve Rook and Pawns if you set 'em
But he never can tame
A tough middlegame
ISEs? He'll struggle to get 'em

Also
Paul Habershon wrote: Of these limericks I'm not a fan,
Because very few of them scan.
For goodness' sake mount
A syllable count,
Or chuck the whole thing down the pan.
Reminds me very much of:

There was a young man from Japan
Whose verse just wouldn't quite scan
When asked why 'twas so
He said "I don't know
I just like to fit as many words on the last line as I possibly can."

Jonathan Bryant
Posts: 3452
Joined: Sun May 11, 2008 3:54 pm

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Jonathan Bryant » Sun Jun 01, 2014 8:54 am

Matt Fletcher wrote:A quick one for Jon Bryant - my #chess180 nemesis...

There is a 180 from Streatham
Who can solve Rook and Pawns if you set 'em
But he never can tame
A tough middlegame
ISEs? He'll struggle to get 'em


Chess player Matt ain’t 180
Say it and he gets in a bate, he
The French likes to play
Against me? We’ll I’d say
I could Exchange and win anyway matey


#chess180

Kevin Williamson
Posts: 174
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 6:24 pm

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Kevin Williamson » Sun Jun 01, 2014 11:56 am

Paul Habershon wrote:Of these limericks I'm not a fan,
Because very few of them scan.
For goodness' sake mount
A syllable count,
Or chuck the whole thing down the pan.
Of course Paul is correct, but:

For those with a mind regimental
The syllable count is essential
For chess humour to fly
The rules needn’t apply
As they stifle the laughter potential

David Robertson

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by David Robertson » Sun Jun 01, 2014 2:37 pm

What laughter potential is this?
Best give versification a miss
Since Paul Habershon's right,
When the scansion is sh!te
McGonagall-style limericks end up more or less like this

Neil Graham
Posts: 1939
Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:36 pm

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Neil Graham » Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:13 pm

The scansion's right on this ..........

There was a young lady of Slough
Who once had a very bad cough
I've spent loads of time
Ensuring a rhyme
But maybe it's not good enough?

Francis Fields
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:50 am
Location: London

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Francis Fields » Wed Jun 04, 2014 11:26 am

I always remember the player from Guadaquivil
Who played his chess just as he'd feel
By the board were his glasses
And something looking like molasses
Until he let out a squeal!


Francis

GavinWall
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2014 11:19 pm

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by GavinWall » Sun Jun 08, 2014 1:32 pm

There once was a moron named Spencer
Whose dream was to join Mensa
So he took up chess
Without much success
In fact he's now even denser

Francis Fields
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:50 am
Location: London

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Francis Fields » Mon Jun 09, 2014 1:21 pm

I heard about the player from Nagorno Karabakh
Who played his chess like a bit of a hack
This way
That way
Until he lost the knack


Francis

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John Clarke
Posts: 711
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2011 1:07 pm

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by John Clarke » Mon Jun 09, 2014 6:50 pm

Here's one I remember being printed in Chess some time in the sixties:

A chess-playing surgeon from Fife
Played chess as he wielded the knife.
He played and he played
Until he mislaid
His king inside somebody's wife.
"The chess-board is the world ..... the player on the other side is hidden from us ..... he never overlooks a mistake, or makes the smallest allowance for ignorance."
(He doesn't let you resign and start again, either.)

Francis Fields
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:50 am
Location: London

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Francis Fields » Thu Jun 19, 2014 7:15 pm

I read about the player who liked the Ruy Lopez
Day and night, he studied even while in bed
Bishops and pawns
Knights and pawns
Until the king was dead.


Francis

Francis Fields
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:50 am
Location: London

Re: Chess Limericks

Post by Francis Fields » Tue Sep 16, 2014 10:54 am

Was chess ever played by the prince called Machiavelli
Did he sit at the board with his large rotund belly
Always a mean move
Never going to lose
This Ricardo was not made of jelly

Francis