Chess Limericks
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Re: Chess Limericks
There once was a forum for chess
Where the poetry did not impress
I think it is plain
We should stick to the game
And why the ECF is a mess
Where the poetry did not impress
I think it is plain
We should stick to the game
And why the ECF is a mess
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- Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:50 am
- Location: London
Re: Chess Limericks
I once played in a tournament in Chelyabinsk
My opponent He told me 'I am from Minsk!'
At the end of the game
I'd forgotten his name
But remember, his buttonhole was not pink!
Francis
My opponent He told me 'I am from Minsk!'
At the end of the game
I'd forgotten his name
But remember, his buttonhole was not pink!
Francis
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Re: Chess Limericks
This one should win the prize!Malcolm Peacock wrote: There once was a forum for chess
Where the poetry did not impress
I think it is plain
We should stick to the game
And why the ECF is a mess
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- Joined: Sat Aug 07, 2010 5:51 pm
Re: Chess Limericks
Of these limericks I'm not a fan,
Because very few of them scan.
For goodness' sake mount
A syllable count,
Or chuck the whole thing down the pan.
Because very few of them scan.
For goodness' sake mount
A syllable count,
Or chuck the whole thing down the pan.
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Re: Chess Limericks
A quick one for Jon Bryant - my #chess180 nemesis...
There is a 180 from Streatham
Who can solve Rook and Pawns if you set 'em
But he never can tame
A tough middlegame
ISEs? He'll struggle to get 'em
Also
There was a young man from Japan
Whose verse just wouldn't quite scan
When asked why 'twas so
He said "I don't know
I just like to fit as many words on the last line as I possibly can."
There is a 180 from Streatham
Who can solve Rook and Pawns if you set 'em
But he never can tame
A tough middlegame
ISEs? He'll struggle to get 'em
Also
Reminds me very much of:Paul Habershon wrote: Of these limericks I'm not a fan,
Because very few of them scan.
For goodness' sake mount
A syllable count,
Or chuck the whole thing down the pan.
There was a young man from Japan
Whose verse just wouldn't quite scan
When asked why 'twas so
He said "I don't know
I just like to fit as many words on the last line as I possibly can."
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Re: Chess Limericks
Matt Fletcher wrote:A quick one for Jon Bryant - my #chess180 nemesis...
There is a 180 from Streatham
Who can solve Rook and Pawns if you set 'em
But he never can tame
A tough middlegame
ISEs? He'll struggle to get 'em
Chess player Matt ain’t 180
Say it and he gets in a bate, he
The French likes to play
Against me? We’ll I’d say
I could Exchange and win anyway matey
#chess180
The Abysmal Depths of Chess: https://theabysmaldepthsofchess.blogspot.com
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Re: Chess Limericks
Of course Paul is correct, but:Paul Habershon wrote:Of these limericks I'm not a fan,
Because very few of them scan.
For goodness' sake mount
A syllable count,
Or chuck the whole thing down the pan.
For those with a mind regimental
The syllable count is essential
For chess humour to fly
The rules needn’t apply
As they stifle the laughter potential
Re: Chess Limericks
What laughter potential is this?
Best give versification a miss
Since Paul Habershon's right,
When the scansion is sh!te
McGonagall-style limericks end up more or less like this
Best give versification a miss
Since Paul Habershon's right,
When the scansion is sh!te
McGonagall-style limericks end up more or less like this
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- Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:36 pm
Re: Chess Limericks
The scansion's right on this ..........
There was a young lady of Slough
Who once had a very bad cough
I've spent loads of time
Ensuring a rhyme
But maybe it's not good enough?
There was a young lady of Slough
Who once had a very bad cough
I've spent loads of time
Ensuring a rhyme
But maybe it's not good enough?
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- Location: London
Re: Chess Limericks
I always remember the player from Guadaquivil
Who played his chess just as he'd feel
By the board were his glasses
And something looking like molasses
Until he let out a squeal!
Francis
Who played his chess just as he'd feel
By the board were his glasses
And something looking like molasses
Until he let out a squeal!
Francis
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Re: Chess Limericks
There once was a moron named Spencer
Whose dream was to join Mensa
So he took up chess
Without much success
In fact he's now even denser
Whose dream was to join Mensa
So he took up chess
Without much success
In fact he's now even denser
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- Location: London
Re: Chess Limericks
I heard about the player from Nagorno Karabakh
Who played his chess like a bit of a hack
This way
That way
Until he lost the knack
Francis
Who played his chess like a bit of a hack
This way
That way
Until he lost the knack
Francis
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- Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2011 1:07 pm
Re: Chess Limericks
Here's one I remember being printed in Chess some time in the sixties:
A chess-playing surgeon from Fife
Played chess as he wielded the knife.
He played and he played
Until he mislaid
His king inside somebody's wife.
A chess-playing surgeon from Fife
Played chess as he wielded the knife.
He played and he played
Until he mislaid
His king inside somebody's wife.
"The chess-board is the world ..... the player on the other side is hidden from us ..... he never overlooks a mistake, or makes the smallest allowance for ignorance."
(He doesn't let you resign and start again, either.)
(He doesn't let you resign and start again, either.)
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- Location: London
Re: Chess Limericks
I read about the player who liked the Ruy Lopez
Day and night, he studied even while in bed
Bishops and pawns
Knights and pawns
Until the king was dead.
Francis
Day and night, he studied even while in bed
Bishops and pawns
Knights and pawns
Until the king was dead.
Francis
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- Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:50 am
- Location: London
Re: Chess Limericks
Was chess ever played by the prince called Machiavelli
Did he sit at the board with his large rotund belly
Always a mean move
Never going to lose
This Ricardo was not made of jelly
Francis
Did he sit at the board with his large rotund belly
Always a mean move
Never going to lose
This Ricardo was not made of jelly
Francis