Chess Limericks

[Francis Fields]

I played chess on a gorgeous summers day
The board was placed upon a bale of hay
The sun was shining
It was more like dining
And a fox trotted along the way.

[Francis Fields]

I heard about the lady who liked a game of chess
Sitting at the board in her Sunday best
She adopted different poses
Smelling frequently of roses
And her opponent was just in a mess

[Dewi Jones]

Can nobody on this forum count? Or is my idea of a limerick different to everybody elses?

[Francis Fields]

I watched the game that started e4
He developed some pieces and then d4
The bishop was sacked
The king attacked
And then fell on the floor

[Francis Fields]

Fischer played the Grunfeld with his bishop on queen five
His queen was further away a bit off side
The rook went to bishop seven
The king could not find its heaven
And the crowd roared from every side

[John Clarke]

Writing limericks with a chess twist
Is a lure some can't seem to resist,
But unless people can
Make the blessed things scan
One would like to suggest they desist.

[Alistair Campbell]

Writing limericks with a chess twist
Is a lure some can't seem to resist,
But unless people can
Make the blessed things scan
One would like to suggest they desist.

Hmm. Is Limerick pronounced as two syllables or three? Are any Irish members able to comment? (Perhaps a spondee rather than a dactyl??)

[Brendan O'Gorman]

Not sure whether it's correct, but it's a spondee for me and, I suspect, most Gaels.

[Niall Doran]

I'd pronounce it as two syllables. If I've understood the Wikipedia article on Spondees correctly, then for me Limerick is a spondee.

[David Robertson]

So it's lim'rick? Blimey. Things you learn in here

[John Clarke]

Inspired by memory of a cartoon that appeared in Chess many years ago:

Raising floods to make all the land vanish,
Most humans from earth God did banish,
Prompting Noah to craft a
Big ship he named after
A trap he'd devised in the Spanish.

[Francis Fields]

Karpov sat in his chair
Waiting for his opponents stare
Five pieces were left on the board
And the crowd had never roared
As the parapsychologists were there!

[Francis Fields]

I knew the woman who played without remorse
Instead of fingers she had claws
She tore into her opponents
The game lasted moments
And then just polite applause!

[Francis Fields]

I once played chess in Ulaan Bator
My opponents face looked a bit sore
His teeth were as white as the pieces
I was wearing my breeches
And the game ended in a draw

[Francis Fields]

I know the player who calls himself Bob
Rumour had it he'd got a new job
Was this a ruse
Or just good news
We'll find out when he has a few more bob!