Chess Limericks
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Chess Limericks
I once met a player called Vladimir
Who played the Berlin ev'ry year
At first it was a draw
And then evermore
And now he thinks hes a cavalier!
Does anybody know any others?
Francis
Who played the Berlin ev'ry year
At first it was a draw
And then evermore
And now he thinks hes a cavalier!
Does anybody know any others?
Francis
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Re: Chess Limericks
There was a young man of Devizes
Whose knights were of two different sizes.
One was so small
It was nothing at all,
But the other won several prizes.
Whose knights were of two different sizes.
One was so small
It was nothing at all,
But the other won several prizes.
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Re: Chess Limericks
Hmm - the version I know began "there once was a girl from Devizes" - but is not suitable for this, or indeed any, messageboard.Mike Truran wrote:There was a young man of Devizes
Whose knights were of two different sizes.
One was so small
It was nothing at all,
But the other won several prizes.
How about :-
An ex-President called CJ
Wore a T-shirt proclaiming "I'm gay".
But an arbiter said
"You may be an Egghead
But you're not wearing that here today!"
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Re: Chess Limericks
An earlier, heavily moderated, thread may be found at http://www.ecforum.org.uk/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=906
Re: Chess Limericks
There was a GM named Arkell
Whose mid-game didn't always sparkle
But after ninety moves' play
His opponent would stray
And the endgame would reach its debacle!
Whose mid-game didn't always sparkle
But after ninety moves' play
His opponent would stray
And the endgame would reach its debacle!
Re: Chess Limericks
I apologise if I gave the impression that Keith Arkell's middlegame play is sometimes less than scintillating.
In my defence, the name 'Arkell' is not at all easy to rhyme!
In my defence, the name 'Arkell' is not at all easy to rhyme!
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Re: Chess Limericks
There once was a plagiarist too mean
To give credit for notes that he'd seen
He would copy them later
In the Times and Spectator
Where they now bore the name of Ray Keene.
To give credit for notes that he'd seen
He would copy them later
In the Times and Spectator
Where they now bore the name of Ray Keene.
"Do you play chess?"
"Yes, but I prefer a game with a better chance of cheating."
lostontime.blogspot.com
"Yes, but I prefer a game with a better chance of cheating."
lostontime.blogspot.com
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Re: Chess Limericks
A Limerick Quiz - Who has not won the British Championship.
Nunn, Miles, Keene, and Rowson,
Wade, Barden and Watson,
Golembek Harrry,
Gormally Danny,
Yates, Napier or Hodgson.
Nunn, Miles, Keene, and Rowson,
Wade, Barden and Watson,
Golembek Harrry,
Gormally Danny,
Yates, Napier or Hodgson.
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Re: Chess Limericks
At the end of 4NCL,
Guildford said "flippin 'ell!
Our French bloke Edouard
Hit Hammer real hard
And we won three others as well!"
You'd think that by rights
Wood Green would win all of their fights
But they've been under siege
And to win London League
They must now beware Drunken Knights
Guildford said "flippin 'ell!
Our French bloke Edouard
Hit Hammer real hard
And we won three others as well!"
You'd think that by rights
Wood Green would win all of their fights
But they've been under siege
And to win London League
They must now beware Drunken Knights
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- Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:50 am
- Location: London
Re: Chess Limericks
I once knew a player who was also a political activist
He got all enraged and had to have a go at this
One day at the board
His opponent was floored
And now he's a bit of a redactivist.
Francis
He got all enraged and had to have a go at this
One day at the board
His opponent was floored
And now he's a bit of a redactivist.
Francis
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Re: Chess Limericks
World Champions:
Garry Kasparov
Anatoly Karpov
Vladimir Kramnik
Mikhail Botvinnik
Veselin Topalov
Garry Kasparov
Anatoly Karpov
Vladimir Kramnik
Mikhail Botvinnik
Veselin Topalov
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Re: Chess Limericks
Welcome to the English Chess Forum
It’s friendly, and we don’t need a quorum
But if you don’t play by the rules
Are rude, or treat others as fools
Carl will ban you for a lack of decorum
It’s friendly, and we don’t need a quorum
But if you don’t play by the rules
Are rude, or treat others as fools
Carl will ban you for a lack of decorum
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- Location: London
Re: Chess Limericks
I also once knew a player who liked Jackanory
In fact it was his favourite story!
Kings and queens
Tactical means
And now 'It's a bit boring'!
Francis
In fact it was his favourite story!
Kings and queens
Tactical means
And now 'It's a bit boring'!
Francis
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- Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:50 am
- Location: London
Re: Chess Limericks
I heard of the player called Bobby Fisher
He played his chess without the slightest quiver
He sat there all day
Just play, play, play!
Until he was declared the winner!
Francis
He played his chess without the slightest quiver
He sat there all day
Just play, play, play!
Until he was declared the winner!
Francis
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- Posts: 141
- Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2014 9:50 am
- Location: London
Re: Chess Limericks
I was told about a player called Mikhailisin
He played in the open and just wanted to win
His queen was en pris
In a moment did it flee
And now he just drinks his gin!
Francis
He played in the open and just wanted to win
His queen was en pris
In a moment did it flee
And now he just drinks his gin!
Francis