Chess Limericks

[John McKenna]

Permission to come aboard?

A bit risqué, perhaps, but many a limerick out there is far more explicit.
I think it falls well within the boundaries of what's acceptable these days.

Perhaps Nick is thinking about how it would be received by Kirsan if he ever heard it.
Apologies for that last sentence I am only speculating and have no idea what "hmm" means here.

All ashore that's going ashore.

[Andy Stoker]

I'll delete it if I'm seriously asked to ... but would also be very surprised and disappointed. I like the idea that somebody important might visit this forum and trawl through the limericks for the chance of being offended

[Brian Towers]

A bit risqué, perhaps, but many a limerick out there is far more explicit.
I think it falls well within the boundaries of what's acceptable these days.

Comfortably, I would have thought. In fact rather tame.

A limerick is a form of poetry, especially one in five-line anapestic meter with a strict rhyme scheme (AABBA), which is sometimes obscene with humorous intent.

Perhaps Nick is thinking about how it would be received by Kirsan if he ever heard it.

Or, god forbid, a potential sponsor for the ECF.... Oh! Hang on. This isn't the other place. Corsets can be loosened here.

[NickFaulks]

Perhaps Nick is thinking about how it would be received by Kirsan if he ever heard it.

Oh dear, I certainly wasn't thinking that. I'm not sure what my comment was intended to convey other than, well, hmm. I think it's an excellent limerick, leaving the reader the choice between pondering deeply about its meaning or staying well clear. Enough.

[John McKenna]

About time I made an effort -

Composing a witty quintain
Addled many a left-sided brain,
Made poets quite sick
Of the form limerick,
But quatrains - they feel right as rain.

[Greg Breed]

About time I made an effort -

Composing a witty quintain
Addled many a left-sided brain,
Made poets quite sick
Of the form limerick,
But quatrains - they feel right as rain.

I think that deserves a "hmmm". You've totally lost me there. If I get time i'll visit a dictionary!

[John McKenna]

Right you are, Greg.

Definitely a "hmmm" for mine.
I though a passion-killer limerick was called for after Andy Stoker's "hmm".
Yours was good, but probably still only a "hm"

Purists would probably give the nod to the recent ones by Simon Brown, Tim Harding and David Robertson who seem to be following the rules -

The standard form of a limerick is a stanza of five lines, with the first, second and fifth rhyming with one another and having three feet of three syllables each; and the shorter third and fourth lines also rhyming with each other, but having only two feet of three syllables. The defining "foot" of a limerick's meter is usually the anapaest, (ta-ta-TUM), but catalexis (missing a weak syllable at the beginning of a line) and extra-syllable rhyme (which adds an extra unstressed syllable) can make limericks appear amphibrachic (ta-TUM-ta). [Wikipedia]

Tim may be a natural having lived long in the host country, and David is a master swordsmith, i.e. a wordsmith with an extra 's'.

[David Robertson]

About time I made an effort -

Composing a witty quintain
Addled many a left-sided brain,
Made poets quite sick
Of the form limerick,
But quatrains - they feel right as rain.

I'm not allowing this. The fourth line is well out of order. Go back up-thread to p.3, and read carefully. We simply do not allow 'limerick' to be deployed as an anapest when it is in fact a spondee.

As for Andy Stoker's effort, I thought it ticked all the boxes quite nicely. Limericks are supposed to be wittily salacious in their 'pure' form; Andy does the job quite well (ahem, no pun). His final line still needs some work though

[Mike Truran]

I would have thought that 'anapaest' would have been the spelling of choice for a stylist like you. However, after your egregious grammatical slip further up I'm beginning to have my doubts.

Of course 'antidactylus' avoids the need for any such decision.

[John McKenna]

Not sure whether it's correct, but it's a spondee for me and, I suspect, most Gaels.

I'm with Brendan and the Gaels - great linguistic group - on that one.

I also agree completely with Mike, above, of course.

[David Robertson]

I gave some thought to anapaest/anapest. But having just finished reading Oliver Kamm on pedantry in style, I decided to ditch the archaic form - possibly an error in this company

[Mike Truran]

Ihnen, Herr Professor Robertson, habe ich nur fünf Worte zu sagen: 'Post hoc ergo propter hoc'.

(With apologies to Doctor Tarrasch.)

[Alistair Campbell]

We simply do not allow 'limerick' to be deployed as an anapest when it is in fact a spondee.

Ooft - thanks for that - I had never come across the word anapest before. I can't wait to use it (or perhaps anapæst) in real life

[David Robertson]

I had never come across the word anapest before. I can't wait to use it (or perhaps anapæst) in real life

Well, exactly. It's already quite poncey enough without adding an unnecessary digraph. That was a second cause of my choice of spelling, let my polyglottal friend take note!

[Alistair Campbell]

Well, exactly. It's already quite poncey enough without adding an unnecessary digraph. That was a second cause of my choice of spelling, let my polyglottal friend take note!

Digraph is a good one as well.

So, would Cowdenbeath be an example of an anapest? (I note spellchecker doesn't like that spelling). What about Dunfermline? An amphibrach perhaps? Perhaps this discussion should be moved to the sesquipedalian forum?