Terrible Jokes
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Re: Terrible Jokes
“I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner
... well, it was just collecting dust.”
Tim Vine, Edinburgh Fringe, 2014
... well, it was just collecting dust.”
Tim Vine, Edinburgh Fringe, 2014
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Re: Terrible Jokes
"Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!"
"I'm not surprised, it was only ground yesterday"
"I'm not surprised, it was only ground yesterday"
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Re: Terrible Jokes
"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
"I could be wrong Sir, but I think that's the breast stroke!"
"I could be wrong Sir, but I think that's the breast stroke!"
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Re: Terrible Jokes
Q: What's black and white and green and black and white?
A: Two zebras fighting over a pickle.
A: Two zebras fighting over a pickle.
Do you know, or wish to know, anything unusual about chess? Feel free to contact me!
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Re: Terrible Jokes
What is the favourite drink of Jürgen Norbert Klopp?
7 Up
7 Up
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Re: Terrible Jokes
'Waiter, you've got your thumb in my soup!''Phil Neatherway wrote: ↑Thu Feb 23, 2023 6:22 pm"Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!"
"I'm not surprised, it was only ground yesterday"
'That's all right, sir, it's not hot.'
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Re: Terrible Jokes
"Waiter, have you got frog's legs?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well hop into the kitchen and get me a steak".
...... and later
"How did you find your steak sir?"
"I just moved a couple of peas and there it was."
and one from my six year old grandson (I have an inexhaustible supply of these).
Q What happens when you cross the road in a Safari Park?
A Double yellow lions.
"Yes, sir."
"Well hop into the kitchen and get me a steak".
...... and later
"How did you find your steak sir?"
"I just moved a couple of peas and there it was."
and one from my six year old grandson (I have an inexhaustible supply of these).
Q What happens when you cross the road in a Safari Park?
A Double yellow lions.
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Re: Terrible Jokes
but I take it that the inexhaustible supply refers to jokes ....Neil Graham wrote: ↑Sat Mar 18, 2023 10:02 am
and one from my six year old grandson (I have an inexhaustible supply of these).
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Re: Terrible Jokes
fortunately yes. Three grandsons and a granddaughter are quite enough.Roger Lancaster wrote: ↑Sat Mar 18, 2023 12:06 pmbut I take it that the inexhaustible supply refers to jokes ....Neil Graham wrote: ↑Sat Mar 18, 2023 10:02 am
and one from my six year old grandson (I have an inexhaustible supply of these).
I remember seeing Milton Jones live - he seemed to have an inexhaustible supply of grandfathers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48HoCwhlA80
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Re: Terrible Jokes
Two more from my younger grandchildren :
Last night I dreamt I was writing The Hobbit but I was just Tolkien in my sleep (granddaughter aged 9)
What do you call a horse in the next house? Your next door NEIGH-bour. (6 year old grandson).
Last night I dreamt I was writing The Hobbit but I was just Tolkien in my sleep (granddaughter aged 9)
What do you call a horse in the next house? Your next door NEIGH-bour. (6 year old grandson).
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Re: Terrible Jokes
Which element is represented by Ah?
It is Ahaa: the element of surprise.
It is Ahaa: the element of surprise.
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Re: Terrible Jokes
Another from my grandchildren.
What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador.
What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador.
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Re: Terrible Jokes
The vicar is about to conduct a wedding ceremony, but he wants to check if anyone needs to pay a call first. What does he say to the congregation?
"Speak now or forever hold your pees."
"Speak now or forever hold your pees."
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Re: Terrible Jokes
Yes, this one passes the awfulness test.John Townsend wrote: ↑Tue May 02, 2023 3:32 pmThe vicar is about to conduct a wedding ceremony, but he wants to check if anyone needs to pay a call first. What does he say to the congregation?
"Speak now or forever hold your pees."
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Re: Terrible Jokes
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 789.
Which teacher was always late for school?
Mr. Buss
Because 789.
Which teacher was always late for school?
Mr. Buss