Premier League Fantasy Football 2023-24

[James Friar Jnr]

A slight correction to the above - Joe Friar was actually not last years winner

[Neil Graham]

A slight correction to the above - Joe Friar was actually not last years winner

Oops - sorry James! Is there going to be a family double this year do you think?

Incidentally I have a tidying-up post I need to write about last season. I'll try and do that in the next few days.

Finally it's gratifying that someone actually reads these reports.

[James Friar Jnr]

It’s early days but I’m sure it’s possible! Joe has gone for the no-Haaland approach and I have stuck with him so hoping my loyalty pays off in this weekends BOU (h).

I have been reading the reports for some years! Usually only in an observing capacity until recently… hoping to crack into the top 5 again soon.

[Neil Graham]

Week Ten

"We will never forget him & nor will all of football." Sir Geoff Hurst mourns team mate Sir Bobby Charlton.

For the first time this season, the top five are almost identical to the preceding week albeit in a slightly different order. Quarter Two normally sorts out our long term frontrunners - our Quarter One summary follows in due course. Top score of the week was from Joe Cole - I can find no-one of that name in the ECF Rating List, so maybe we have the football pundit as a Premier Chess member. A more familiar name in the wooden spoon position where Chris Goodall features for the first time this season.

1 Poisoned Prawns Stuart Iles 55 689
2 Odegaarden Partey ** Nathan Talbot 70 685
3 Runner Up Blair Connell 59 671
4 Bamboozled Paul Connellan 70 663
5 Frying High Joe Friar 56 660

Finally A look at the Premier Division manager sacking odds where Erik Ten Hag is now favourite for the order of the boot.

[Neil Graham]

Quarter One - Weeks 1-10

The opening quarter was remarkable in that 25 different managers featured in the top five over the first 10 weeks. Most disappeared as quickly as Hale-Bopp and are just as likely to appear again - well at least this season. The fact that even our most successful manager could only muster five weeks out of ten says it all. Meanwhile there was a different top scorer in each of the first ten weeks whereas Neil Pennock made a great effort to take permanent possession of the low score spot. Here is the run down with the usual point scoring method (5 for 1st place; 1 for 5th) with a minimum of two weeks to qualify for the table - Maximum score would be 50.

1st= Odegaarden Partey ** Nathan Talbot 19pts(5)
Poisoned Prawns Stuart Iles 19pts(4)
PassingPenquins Peter Staneland 19pts(4)
4th Rice Rice Baby Cameron Henry 14pts(4)
5th TAA, love. Sabrina Chevannes 12pts(3)
6th Runner Up Blair Connell 9pts(3)
7th Cba Alex Sheerin 7pts(2)
8th Rubber Digne Rapids Taran Jina 6pts(2)
9th= 4 managers 5pts
13th= 3 managers 3pts

[Neil Graham]

Week Eleven

https://www.burnleyfootballclub.com/matches/women/table Burnley top the table! Unfortunately not in the Premier League.

Week 11 was a diabolical week for most managers; injuries, substitutions, sendings off - it had it all. Consequently there were amazing low scores throughout - only three managers exceeded 50 points. We have to look to 163rd place to find our manager of the week who was Emmanuel Darkoh whose score of 61 points was largely due to captaining Chelsea hat trick hero Nicolas Jackson. Neil Pennock was the sole manager to have a single figure score (8 pts) so he resumes his position as lowest scorer. Very little change in our leader board therefore.

1 Poisoned Prawns Stuart Iles 33 722
2 Odegaarden Partey ** Nathan Talbot 24 709
3 Runner Up Blair Connell 36 707
4 Mostly David Egginton 45 703
5 Bamboozled Paul Connellan 36 699

Finally Overall unusually there are four English managers in the top 10. When will 1,000 points be reached?

[Neil Graham]

Week 12

"The club admitted it was in breach of the PSRs for the period ending season 2021-22" Everton docked 10 points by Premier League.

For those of you unfamiliar with PSR, it stands for "profitability and sustainability rules" and not public sector resourcing, payments systems regulator or several other on-line explanations. Everton are appealing otherwise this deficit puts them in a relegation spot. "It's a family affair" is an (almost) well-known song from the 1970s and indeed Premier Chess is looking like that with Mark Talbot joining Nathan in the top three whilst the Friars and Garlands are also in contention. In contrast to last week, it was a high scoring with Tim Lunn scoring over 100 points whilst AksHay Kilambi's team "the invincibles" didn't live up to their name with the low total of the week.

1 Poisoned Prawns Stuart Iles 89 811
2= Stars and a Wish** Mark Talbot 88 773
2= Odegaarden Partey ** Nathan Talbot 68 773
4 Mostly David Egginton 66 769
5= Frying High Joe Friar 70 763
5= Bamboozled Paul Connellan 64 763
5= EASY TIGER Mike Garland 97 763

Team names - plenty of not very original ones around - "Change Name" is still in evidence as well.

[Neil Graham]

Week 13

No Premier Managers sacked By this time last year 5 out of the 20 original incumbents had been shown the door.

See https://www.skysports.com/football/news ... ing-freeze. Turning to our own League several of our league leaders have also disappeared for example Peter Staneland who was top for three successive weeks is now well off the pace in 55th position. Stuart Iles maintains a healthy 30 point gap over a closely knit bunch of challengers; however there are still 14 teams within 50 points of our leader. Neil Pennock under achieved with the lowest score so far for the season in 10,227,686th position whilst Adam Cranston was top points scorer this week.

1 Poisoned Prawns Stuart Iles 38 849
2 EASY TIGER Mike Garland 55 818
3 2 Stars and a Wish** Mark Talbot 43 816
4= Odegaarden Partey ** Nathan Talbot 41 814
4= Shakhtar Wash Common Paul Cooksey 55 814

Finally The 1,000 point barrier should be broken in Week 14.

[Neil Graham]

Week 14

"When they get relegated - and they will get relegated - they could do with Paul Heckingbottom to get them back up." - Chris Sutton. Sheffield United sacking their manager.

Four days ago in the update, no Premier Division manager had lost their job. Although not officially announced, the Blades manager is understood to have been dismissed - unsurprising after their catastrophic loss to Burnley. In Premier Chess Stuart Iles is just thirteen points ahead though it is quite impossible to determine which of his many challengers will mount a determined attempt to oust our long time leader. Top of the heap this week is Paul Peskey whilst Stig of the Dump is AksHay Kilambi (possibly the inclusion of Kane, Toney and De Bruyne doesn't help). The early thread report is because another Week 15 starts tonight with a series of mid-week fixtures.

1 Poisoned Prawns Stuart Iles 60 909
2 EASY TIGER Mike Garland 78 896
3 Rice Rice Baby Cameron Henry 80 891
4 Runner Up Blair Connell 79 884
5 What means this? Kaia Means 69 878

Finally As forecast last week - the 1st placed overall team broke the 1,000 point barrier. Entries to Premier Chess close after Week 15.

[Neil Graham]

Week 15

"I always had belief in myself" Harry Maguire - named Premier Division player of the month in November

Del Amitri sung "Nothing ever happens" and indeed that sums up Week 15 of the Chess Fantasy League where low scores abounded and the leaders were by enlarge the same as Week 14. Adrian Matthews was our high scorer of the week whilst our least successful was, no surprise, Neil Pennock. Week 16 approaches where, hopefully, the likes of Son, Salah and Haaland can rediscover their goal scoring form.

1 Poisoned Prawns Stuart Iles 41 950
2 EASY TIGER Mike Garland 30 926
3 Rice Rice Baby Cameron Henry 29 920
4 Runner Up Blair Connell 32 916
5 2 Stars and a Wish** Mark Talbot 42 913

Finally Handball of the Week Award https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/football/67659554

[Neil Graham]

Week 16

"Should I swap Haaland for Solanke?" BBC Website - the Manchester City striker will be absent till Week 19.

Week 16 certainly saw the likes of Son and Salah rediscovering their points scoring mojo - but no Haaland at all - which would have upset plenty of managers. In Premier Chess, Stuart Iles maintains his first place for a ninth successive week with our first overall score of 1000+ points and still has a gap to the remaining challengers who shuffle around in the minor places. Very little to choose with most managers in a tightly knit points band - top scorers were jointly Sabrina Chevannes and Danny Rosenbaum and for the first time Rob Ensor with the low points of the week.

1 Poisoned Prawns Stuart Iles 63 1013
2 Runner Up Blair Connell 68 984
3 EASY TIGER Mike Garland 52 978
4 Rice Rice Baby Cameron Henry 57 977
5 What means this? Kaia Means 67 972

Up for the Cup? This commenced in Week 15 with qualification - I'll do a catch-up round about Week 19 - we normally lose all our teams by Week 23 or 24.

[Neil Graham]

Week 17

Forest sack Steve Cooper Tuesday afternoon reports - media suggests he is to be replaced by Nuno Espirito Santo.

The fickle finger of fate points at the Nottingham manager after losing five of the last six games whereas Nuno's last Premier League appointment was with Spurs when he was sacked after a run of five defeats from seven games. In Premier Chess Stuart Iles leads for a tenth successive week but suddenly the gap is just in single figures as the pack close in - will he be Christmas Number One? Meanwhile top toboggan for Thomas Evans with the week's best score but downhill for Douglas Cobbinah with just nine points and the season's low score so far.

1 Poisoned Prawns Stuart Iles 44 1057
2 Runner Up Blair Connell 72 1052
3 Rice Rice Baby Cameron Henry 75 1048
4 EASY TIGER Mike Garland 56 1034
5 ФК КОЦКА !! Ace Mihajlovski 65 1033

Finally For a fifth week top team is "when harry met sonny" - tis vaishakh (USA) is the manager.

[John Garnett]

The week 17 scores have been amended as scores from the Bournemouth v Luton game have been annulled and substitutions made where necessary. This means Stuart Iles now has seven more points, Matthew Timbrell is now in 5th place and Anthony Kent now has the top score for the week.

[Neil Graham]

The week 17 scores have been amended as scores from the Bournemouth v Luton game have been annulled and substitutions made where necessary. This means Stuart Iles now has seven more points, Matthew Timbrell is now in 5th place and Anthony Kent now has the top score for the week.

Thanks John.

The amended top five are now as follows:-

1 Poisoned Prawns Stuart Iles 51 1064
2 Runner Up Blair Connell 72 1052
3 Rice Rice Baby Cameron Henry 75 1048
4 EASY TIGER Mike Garland 56 1034
5 Baldwin FC Matthew Timbrell 70 1033

I'm not sure how Stuart managed to gain seven points = presumably as Tsimikas replaced Trippier. My total remained the same - but I suddenly lost 150,000 places.

[Neil Graham]

Week 18

"We are here for the long term" Jim Ratcliffe's Ineos Group take a 25% share in Manchester United.

Weeks are coming thick and fast as I write a report with more games on Boxing Day. Well it's happened - Stuart Iles is overhauled after ten weeks and a mere 8 points cover the top teams with others catching up as well. Our best of the week was from Steven Smith with Ewan Kershaw a new name at rock bottom. Our 2nd placed team hails from Macedonia - I'll try to give some more details in due course.

1 Rice Rice Baby Cameron Henry 50 1098
2 ФК КОЦКА !! Ace Mihajlovski 64 1096
3 Poisoned Prawns Stuart Iles 35 1095
4 Runner Up Blair Connell 41 1093
5 EASY TIGER Mike Garland 56 1090

Up for the Cup Stuart Iles and Blair Connell are the only top five teams into the Round 19 draw. Possible update next time!