Strange happening

[Phil Neatherway]

Paul Buswell said:
Club colleagues and I pop over to northern France two or three times a year for Sunday rapidplays. One of the regular local participants always has his small dog with him in the playing hall; it is completely well-behaved and no one seems to bat an eyelid. Rather more distracting was the young father who had his baby on his lap for one round.

Since I am playing at Dieppe, it is no doubt the same player.

[Phil Neatherway]

I once went to a 'chess exhibition' featuring Murray Chandler in Waterstones book shop. with my young son, whi was probably about 5. I hadn't expected there to be a simil, but there was, so my son sat n my lap while I played. Murray didn't seem to mind, even when I won.

[Kevin Thurlow]

At a league match, we had the door open as it was hot and a local cat wandered in and decided to sit on a team-mate's lap. Nobody minded. This of course makes me think of putting a small piece of meat on the opponent's queen when he's away from the board, then when he's back and analysing, wander off and release a bird of prey... I suppose an arbiter might say I was distracting the opponent, but I would deny it, whilst trying to conceal the gauntlet and the bird.

[harrylamb]

I remember the Mascot. I was on the appeals committee. Richard Furnace was the arbiter. The German player's opponent complained to the arbiter (Richard) that the mascot was too big. It was sat on the corner of the table with its legs spread out at 90 degrees. Its toes stretched to the 3rd or 4th rank and file, It was truly big. Richard did not mess about. He had a short think and ruled against the mascot. Richard was like that. He did not waste time as an arbiter. He knew that whatever ruling he made would be appealed against. So he made a decision fast and let the players get on with the appeal.

The mascot was a lion but it may have been a tiger. We will say it was a lion. The reason I am not sure was because the German had a girl friend. She too had a mascot and it was the opposing animal. We will say a tiger. The girl friend's tiger was a little smaller than than the boy friends lion.

The appeals committee then withdrew to the committee room where in serious splendour we discussed if the mascot was too big and if not too big how far a mascot could extend its left foot down the "a" file before we considered it to be too big. At the time I remember that the whole issue reminded me of the then Beachcomer satirical column and the activities of M Justice Cocklecarrot.

Finally we came to our momentous decision that the mascot was too big and the German player lost the game.

I expected the next dispute to be whether the tiger was too big. But I was wrong. The german then claimed that the game had never started so he should not lose any rating points. He did this with the skill and fervour of E Michael White. But it did not do him any good. We took his rating points off him!

[John Swain]

I remember the Mascot. I was on the appeals committee. Richard Furnace was the arbiter. The German player's opponent complained to the arbiter (Richard) that the mascot was too big. It was sat on the corner of the table with its legs spread out at 90 degrees. Its toes stretched to the 3rd or 4th rank and file, It was truly big. Richard did not mess about. He had a short think and ruled against the mascot. Richard was like that. He did not waste time as an arbiter. He knew that whatever ruling he made would be appealed against. So he made a decision fast and let the players get on with the appeal.

The mascot was a lion but it may have been a tiger. We will say it was a lion. The reason I am not sure was because the German had a girl friend. She too had a mascot and it was the opposing animal. We will say a tiger. The girl friend's tiger was a little smaller than than the boy friends lion.

The appeals committee then withdrew to the committee room where in serious splendour we discussed if the mascot was too big and if not too big how far a mascot could extend its left foot down the "a" file before we considered it to be too big. At the time I remember that the whole issue reminded me of the then Beachcomer satirical column and the activities of M Justice Cocklecarrot.

Finally we came to our momentous decision that the mascot was too big and the German player lost the game.

I expected the next dispute to be whether the tiger was too big. But I was wrong. The german then claimed that the game had never started so he should not lose any rating points. He did this with the skill and fervour of E Michael White. But it did not do him any good. We took his rating points off him!

An excellent story, Harry, very well told. You should go into stand-up! I became an arbiter under the wings of Richard Furness and yourself (plus Allan Gardner and Rod Middleton) but I don't recollect anything similar at Bolton town hall or Owen's Park in Manchester in the late 70s/early 80s!

One of the strangest occurrences I experienced at the board was in 1987 when my opponent, a bloke in his 50s/60s, demonstrated amazing physical dexterity. He became extremely agitated, ostensibly because of some noise from another player but probably also because he was losing. Suddenly, he used his right hand to drag his left foot above the level of the table; his foot then knocked over his King (which was helpfully on h7 - if it had been in the middle of the board he might have had to do the splits). He then stormed out of the room.