English Chess Forum

Is there ever a good reason for not shaking hands after the game?

Phil Neatherway wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 29, 2019 7:04 pm

Is there ever a good reason for not shaking hands after the game?

The opponent's hands have been amputated?

The opponent's hands just recently closely escaped amputation?

I recently played a boy aged about 10 who spent much of the game with a finger stuck up one or other nostril

https://beauchess.blogspot.com/

Your opponent is a laptop

I guess I should have known better than to expect any serious answers.

All sound serious, and entirely valid enough to me. What were you thinking of?

I'll give a serious answer.

There is a much respected player who is thalidomide and has seriously underdeveloped hands. I have played him a few times and, as I recall, I don't think we have ever shaken hands - the physical difficulties of achieving this naturally being a major difficulty. The same effect of a handshake (well, actually no - the superior effects) are achieved by the genial conversation before and after the game that make the gesture of the handshake unnecessary.

I have worried about this and indeed shortly after my return to chess from a long absence I sought guidance from another competitor: I was anxious not to offend and didn't know whether the offer of a hand would be treating my opponent normally, or emphasising his difficulties. I think what happens (I honestly don't know what happens, which I suppose is a good sign) is that we smile and wish each other a good game. Anyway, it seems to go OK.

"There is a much respected player who is thalidomide and has seriously underdeveloped hands"

Assuming it's the same one I'm thinking of, he is so genial that you could possibly ask. He once said to me, "Thanks for arbiting - I would give you a round of applause if I could." Even I was lost for words.

I assume Phil is asking if he can refuse to shake hands as his opponent was so obnoxious, he doesn't want to...

Handshakes are, to some degree, a culturally-sensitive matter and I'd suggest that men might sensibly pause for thought if playing a woman with a different cultural background. Separate to this, I've occasionally encountered OCD sufferers who definitely don't want to share my germs - or yours!

If I've had one of my fountain pen accidents, I offer a fist bump instead.

I'm too lazy to look it up, but I think it says something like shake hands or make a suitable gesture, obviously the latter is a matter of interpretation!

By coincidence this question mirrors a conversation Jack, Adam Taylor and myself had at the pub this evening.

I voiced that there is approximately one person ( or somewhere between 1 and 3 on a bad day) who's hand I wouldn't shake were I paired with him. I think my grounds are reasonable:

He blagged a free copy of my book off me, 'bragged' to anyone who would listen that he then made a point of not reading the book, and out of irritation that the book had good reviews on 'Amazon books' gave it a lousy review ( under the pseudonym of 'Dan' until Danny Gormally gave him a mouthful, at which point he changed to 'Matthew'). If that were all that this unsavoury character had done across me I would probably let it go, but believe me it is not!

Answering the original question; I think that if during the game your opponent's behaviour had been sufficiently obnoxious and/ or unsportsmanlike to cause offence then you would be within your rights to refuse to shake hands. However I don't think its something that should be done lightly.

I've never been in such a situation myself but I was reminded of my best friends in chess telling me the story of the one time he refused to shake hands with an opponent after a game. On careful reflection the (understandable) reason does not belong on a public forum.

Way back I think we shook hands only at the end of the game. Now it's often three times: 1 on arrival at the board, 2 just before the clock is started, 3 at the end of the game. Away from chess I think some other nationalities, particularly the French, are more frequent shakers than the British.