My Story
Posted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 3:30 pm
Dear All
I have been playing chess for nearly 20 years now, entering into several tournaments a year, supporting the British tournament circuit. In addition to this, I have encouraged many of my students to play in tournaments, sign up to the ECF etc. - all to support British chess. It made me so proud that I could represent my country playing chess, albeit I could have seriously improved on my performances, but it still was an honour. I know that I could have done better/taken it more seriously, which is why I have dedicated all my time and effort into getting my students to achieve what I couldn't.
All through growing up, through the junior circuit, I ran into difficulties, where people were making things a little difficult for me, but I had the support of my parents and usually they could deal with things, so I got through it.
I went off to university to study medicine and pursue a career as a doctor, but I couldn't resist teaching chess and set up my own academy. Since then, I have done what I can to promote junior and women's chess. I gave up my career as a doctor in order to help children achieve their dreams, whether it be academic or chess related. I love what I do, well, until others start to get involved.
It all started when I agreed to become the Manager of Women's Chess for the ECF with Jovanka Houska. We would do our best to try and promote women's chess, create more events, get them training etc but were always shot down and received no support from those who made the decisions. We started tournaments such as the National Girls' Chess Championships and English Women's Rapidplay, both of which were well received by the girls and women. However, these tournaments were not cheap to run and since we received little financial support from the ECF as the events were not seen as important enough, I had to take out personal loans or business loans to cover the expenses. Just to clarify, I do not have a lot of money, but I put what I did have into the tournament and what I thought was best for the future. These tournaments went well in the first year, but in the second year, we ran into more difficulties.
Then there was the whole British Championships training fiasco: I had been asked by several of the parents of my students to train them at the British Chess Championships in Sheffield. Since so many of them wanted this, I decided to go along and train them all as a group and make a schedule for them to be prepared individually. I also asked IM Jovanka Houska and GM Keith Arkell to do this with me as I had so many wanting training. Somehow, this was posted to the forum and then all hell broke loose. I was then refused entry to the British Chess Championships by the organisers, struck off the ECF Accredited Coach list and made to pay a bucket load of fees. When I was asked why this was, they said that only ECF accredited coaches were allowed to enter into the venue of the British Champsionships. Obviously I don't need to explain that this is a load of rubbish and was just a personal vendetta. There are several cases where the ECF employed non ECF accredited coaches to go on their trips etc. I was out of pocket by a serious 4 figure sum for this trip and to top it off, when I got there, I was reported for being in the building and escorted by security! This was not only completely humiliating, but seriously upsetting as I have supported the British Champs for so many years.
More problems occurred when I was asked to run for the role of ECF Junior Director, when Peter Purland announced he was stepping down. I was approached by several parents and officials who all thought I would be great for this role as I have been through every stage of the junior process myself as well as being through it as a coach. I had (or have) several visions of what would make a great junior squad and the things involved to make it work. However, I regret ever consider running for the position. It felt like American politics and I suppose that was because there was an American involved. The nastiness started, the sabotaging, the downright outrageousness. I was threatened to be sacked from my job, I was told that I would not be selected for England (as a chess player), I was told my students would not be selected for England, should I go for the role of Junior Director. I was horrified and deeply upset. All I had ever wanted to do was do what was best for the juniors. I had even been approached by my "rival" for the position, to state how exactly I should stand down and how to go about things to make it subtle. I was promised the position now held by Nick Pert if I should step down. I was promised that I would be in charge of creating an ECF Junior Squad and co-ordinating all of its activiteis. This was a very difficult decision for me as I really wanted to help junior chess, but thought if people (some in very high places) were willing to go to these lengths, then they must want it badly and for a valid reason. Oh, was I wrong! I stepped down, in the fact that I did not lobby or campaign for votes, unlike my competitor, and did not give a very convincing speech at the voting meeting. I made sure that I would not be voted in. However, when the votes came in, I had only lost by something like 8 votes!! It was crazy!! Apparently, it came down to just one person! However, it seemed that many had voted for me because I had a high grade (180+ at the time), whereas the other candidate had a grade of sub 100. It just shows that, again, people vote for the wrong reason.
After this incident, many voters wrote to me and said that they had wished they voted for me, but they submitted their votes weeks ago upon speaking to the other candidate. It was nice to know that many saw that I was a good candidate, but what was when all the real problems started...
The current Junior Director did not like the fact many (including his friends) were suggesting that I was a better candidate for the job (because he knew nothing about junior chess), that he then started to become extremely hostile to me. He put my tournaments out to tender and did not allow me to run things for girls anymore. I will not go into too much detail of all the nasty things he has done, because this would become a 100 page post. He is not the only one who has been making my life difficult. As everyone knows, I try to help out juniors and women as much as I can. I try to create tournaments and make coaching available to them. I have had many ventures that have been sabotaged along the way. Just to name a few:
National Girls' Chess Championships - I had venues rang up and cancelled on my behalf. A few "rival" events created on the same day as my events. Girls and parents discouraged to enter my tournaments. Threats that the girls won't get selected to play for England should they enter my tournaments
English Women's Rapidplay - no support and discouraged to run it and was informed that women's chess was pointless and unimportant.
Coaching and In tournament training - tournaments were approached and warned not to support my coaching. Started a joint venture with a GM to help him get some students - he then went and stole my whole contact list and poached all my students from me. Now this person is guaranteeing they get selected for England if they are coached by him and not me.
This is just to name a few. I would get countless emails from several nasty people (whom I believe now just sent them to upset me) everyday just making jabs at me. This went on for several months, with several emails each week which would leave me in tears. I began to lose the will to live. At this point, I had "lost" several students, lost a job, had my tournaments sabotaged and my reputation slowly ruined. Not to mention that I still had those loans to pay off.
I found it very difficult to go on with life knowing that every move I make, there would be someone there to make sure I fail. If I didn't have those very few people who have supported me through these times, I don't think I would have made it. So thank you to you guys, you know who you are.
I fell very ill in November 2012 and spent a lot of time in hospital since then. I am currently battling something serious and have ongoing health problems. Stress is a serious factor that exacerbates my illness. These situations do not help my health.
The latest fashion of Sabrina bashing is the Richmond Rapidplay. This was taken over by me in May 2011. I spent a lot of time and money investing in this tournament, to ensure that it carries on the way it had been running under Susan Lalic and co. However, the nonsense began on the very first RR ran by myself. I had tried to improve things, by adding online entry and making things electronic and easier to pay etc. However, people only focused on the negative points - the raise in entry fees. The "on the day" payment was raised significantly in order to discourage those just entering on the day and creating more admin. But obviously, people chose to complain. This was fine as you cannot please everyone, but then the hate mail came. It was nasty, personal hatred emails to me and became very demoralising. Then other organisers didn't like the fact that "someone so young" was runninng these tournaments and making money. This is what the bizarre thing is; whenever I speak to chess players in other countries, they are always saying that the chess organisers support each other and help ensure that you can make a living out of it. But not here, I have found it is the opposite. Other organisers have expressed their dislike with me because I am young and I should "know my place". This has led organisers to specifically organise events on the same day as my Richmond Rapidplays and spread lies about me so it will tarnish my reputation. Thereby causing less entries to my tournaments, leaving me in more debt.
There was a recent cancellation of a Richmond Rapidplay (RR107) by myself, at the last minute. This was very unfortunate and I have completely apologised for doing this. All players who paid have either been refunded or credited to a future RR and will get another free entry on top of that. I felt I had no choice to do this as on the morning of the event, I received a call stating that someone very close to me had been stabbed and that they weren't going to make it. They said they were asking for me and that I should go to the hospital and say goodbye. I did not want to cancel the RR but there was no one to fill in for me at late notice. I couldn't not go, as I would never live with mysef and I didn't want to disappoint a dying wish. I didn't want to make this public knowledge, but since there have been several nasty articles and many people who don't know me saying things behind my back, then I thought I would announce it.
I have also found out that there have been people saying things to venues I contact also, so that no venue will host my Richmond Rapidplay. Therefore, I am still looking for a venue for RR108. However, I just want people to know, that I will still continue to run these events as soon as I have found a venue. I hear that Adam Raoof is trying to take over these events without my permission - another example of him trying to make things difficult for me.
This post was to let people know what is really going on and to publicly ask those people bringing me down to leave me alone. I have suffered some serious bouts of depression due to chess players and organisers and understand why so many chess players have quit the game. Due to the lack of support I have received from the ECF and other chess organisers in this country, I would like to announce that I will no longer be playing chess for England and I am looking to transfer to another federation - one that will support me, rather than go against me. I will also no longer be coaching the English Juniors - I don't get selected for these events anyway, as there are people that make sure of that. But, my services will go elsewhere, to other countries that appreciate my work. This will be the case indefinitely, unless there is a drastic change, which more than likely, there won't be.
So, I would like to say goodbye English chess! You have given me nothing but grief over the last few years, despite my best efforts to try and support your cause.
I have been playing chess for nearly 20 years now, entering into several tournaments a year, supporting the British tournament circuit. In addition to this, I have encouraged many of my students to play in tournaments, sign up to the ECF etc. - all to support British chess. It made me so proud that I could represent my country playing chess, albeit I could have seriously improved on my performances, but it still was an honour. I know that I could have done better/taken it more seriously, which is why I have dedicated all my time and effort into getting my students to achieve what I couldn't.
All through growing up, through the junior circuit, I ran into difficulties, where people were making things a little difficult for me, but I had the support of my parents and usually they could deal with things, so I got through it.
I went off to university to study medicine and pursue a career as a doctor, but I couldn't resist teaching chess and set up my own academy. Since then, I have done what I can to promote junior and women's chess. I gave up my career as a doctor in order to help children achieve their dreams, whether it be academic or chess related. I love what I do, well, until others start to get involved.
It all started when I agreed to become the Manager of Women's Chess for the ECF with Jovanka Houska. We would do our best to try and promote women's chess, create more events, get them training etc but were always shot down and received no support from those who made the decisions. We started tournaments such as the National Girls' Chess Championships and English Women's Rapidplay, both of which were well received by the girls and women. However, these tournaments were not cheap to run and since we received little financial support from the ECF as the events were not seen as important enough, I had to take out personal loans or business loans to cover the expenses. Just to clarify, I do not have a lot of money, but I put what I did have into the tournament and what I thought was best for the future. These tournaments went well in the first year, but in the second year, we ran into more difficulties.
Then there was the whole British Championships training fiasco: I had been asked by several of the parents of my students to train them at the British Chess Championships in Sheffield. Since so many of them wanted this, I decided to go along and train them all as a group and make a schedule for them to be prepared individually. I also asked IM Jovanka Houska and GM Keith Arkell to do this with me as I had so many wanting training. Somehow, this was posted to the forum and then all hell broke loose. I was then refused entry to the British Chess Championships by the organisers, struck off the ECF Accredited Coach list and made to pay a bucket load of fees. When I was asked why this was, they said that only ECF accredited coaches were allowed to enter into the venue of the British Champsionships. Obviously I don't need to explain that this is a load of rubbish and was just a personal vendetta. There are several cases where the ECF employed non ECF accredited coaches to go on their trips etc. I was out of pocket by a serious 4 figure sum for this trip and to top it off, when I got there, I was reported for being in the building and escorted by security! This was not only completely humiliating, but seriously upsetting as I have supported the British Champs for so many years.
More problems occurred when I was asked to run for the role of ECF Junior Director, when Peter Purland announced he was stepping down. I was approached by several parents and officials who all thought I would be great for this role as I have been through every stage of the junior process myself as well as being through it as a coach. I had (or have) several visions of what would make a great junior squad and the things involved to make it work. However, I regret ever consider running for the position. It felt like American politics and I suppose that was because there was an American involved. The nastiness started, the sabotaging, the downright outrageousness. I was threatened to be sacked from my job, I was told that I would not be selected for England (as a chess player), I was told my students would not be selected for England, should I go for the role of Junior Director. I was horrified and deeply upset. All I had ever wanted to do was do what was best for the juniors. I had even been approached by my "rival" for the position, to state how exactly I should stand down and how to go about things to make it subtle. I was promised the position now held by Nick Pert if I should step down. I was promised that I would be in charge of creating an ECF Junior Squad and co-ordinating all of its activiteis. This was a very difficult decision for me as I really wanted to help junior chess, but thought if people (some in very high places) were willing to go to these lengths, then they must want it badly and for a valid reason. Oh, was I wrong! I stepped down, in the fact that I did not lobby or campaign for votes, unlike my competitor, and did not give a very convincing speech at the voting meeting. I made sure that I would not be voted in. However, when the votes came in, I had only lost by something like 8 votes!! It was crazy!! Apparently, it came down to just one person! However, it seemed that many had voted for me because I had a high grade (180+ at the time), whereas the other candidate had a grade of sub 100. It just shows that, again, people vote for the wrong reason.
After this incident, many voters wrote to me and said that they had wished they voted for me, but they submitted their votes weeks ago upon speaking to the other candidate. It was nice to know that many saw that I was a good candidate, but what was when all the real problems started...
The current Junior Director did not like the fact many (including his friends) were suggesting that I was a better candidate for the job (because he knew nothing about junior chess), that he then started to become extremely hostile to me. He put my tournaments out to tender and did not allow me to run things for girls anymore. I will not go into too much detail of all the nasty things he has done, because this would become a 100 page post. He is not the only one who has been making my life difficult. As everyone knows, I try to help out juniors and women as much as I can. I try to create tournaments and make coaching available to them. I have had many ventures that have been sabotaged along the way. Just to name a few:
National Girls' Chess Championships - I had venues rang up and cancelled on my behalf. A few "rival" events created on the same day as my events. Girls and parents discouraged to enter my tournaments. Threats that the girls won't get selected to play for England should they enter my tournaments
English Women's Rapidplay - no support and discouraged to run it and was informed that women's chess was pointless and unimportant.
Coaching and In tournament training - tournaments were approached and warned not to support my coaching. Started a joint venture with a GM to help him get some students - he then went and stole my whole contact list and poached all my students from me. Now this person is guaranteeing they get selected for England if they are coached by him and not me.
This is just to name a few. I would get countless emails from several nasty people (whom I believe now just sent them to upset me) everyday just making jabs at me. This went on for several months, with several emails each week which would leave me in tears. I began to lose the will to live. At this point, I had "lost" several students, lost a job, had my tournaments sabotaged and my reputation slowly ruined. Not to mention that I still had those loans to pay off.
I found it very difficult to go on with life knowing that every move I make, there would be someone there to make sure I fail. If I didn't have those very few people who have supported me through these times, I don't think I would have made it. So thank you to you guys, you know who you are.
I fell very ill in November 2012 and spent a lot of time in hospital since then. I am currently battling something serious and have ongoing health problems. Stress is a serious factor that exacerbates my illness. These situations do not help my health.
The latest fashion of Sabrina bashing is the Richmond Rapidplay. This was taken over by me in May 2011. I spent a lot of time and money investing in this tournament, to ensure that it carries on the way it had been running under Susan Lalic and co. However, the nonsense began on the very first RR ran by myself. I had tried to improve things, by adding online entry and making things electronic and easier to pay etc. However, people only focused on the negative points - the raise in entry fees. The "on the day" payment was raised significantly in order to discourage those just entering on the day and creating more admin. But obviously, people chose to complain. This was fine as you cannot please everyone, but then the hate mail came. It was nasty, personal hatred emails to me and became very demoralising. Then other organisers didn't like the fact that "someone so young" was runninng these tournaments and making money. This is what the bizarre thing is; whenever I speak to chess players in other countries, they are always saying that the chess organisers support each other and help ensure that you can make a living out of it. But not here, I have found it is the opposite. Other organisers have expressed their dislike with me because I am young and I should "know my place". This has led organisers to specifically organise events on the same day as my Richmond Rapidplays and spread lies about me so it will tarnish my reputation. Thereby causing less entries to my tournaments, leaving me in more debt.
There was a recent cancellation of a Richmond Rapidplay (RR107) by myself, at the last minute. This was very unfortunate and I have completely apologised for doing this. All players who paid have either been refunded or credited to a future RR and will get another free entry on top of that. I felt I had no choice to do this as on the morning of the event, I received a call stating that someone very close to me had been stabbed and that they weren't going to make it. They said they were asking for me and that I should go to the hospital and say goodbye. I did not want to cancel the RR but there was no one to fill in for me at late notice. I couldn't not go, as I would never live with mysef and I didn't want to disappoint a dying wish. I didn't want to make this public knowledge, but since there have been several nasty articles and many people who don't know me saying things behind my back, then I thought I would announce it.
I have also found out that there have been people saying things to venues I contact also, so that no venue will host my Richmond Rapidplay. Therefore, I am still looking for a venue for RR108. However, I just want people to know, that I will still continue to run these events as soon as I have found a venue. I hear that Adam Raoof is trying to take over these events without my permission - another example of him trying to make things difficult for me.
This post was to let people know what is really going on and to publicly ask those people bringing me down to leave me alone. I have suffered some serious bouts of depression due to chess players and organisers and understand why so many chess players have quit the game. Due to the lack of support I have received from the ECF and other chess organisers in this country, I would like to announce that I will no longer be playing chess for England and I am looking to transfer to another federation - one that will support me, rather than go against me. I will also no longer be coaching the English Juniors - I don't get selected for these events anyway, as there are people that make sure of that. But, my services will go elsewhere, to other countries that appreciate my work. This will be the case indefinitely, unless there is a drastic change, which more than likely, there won't be.
So, I would like to say goodbye English chess! You have given me nothing but grief over the last few years, despite my best efforts to try and support your cause.