To all those reading, many of the threads I start either need, or get, little reply. If you have anything constructive to share with me in this one, please do. This one is really, really important. Sorry in advance for rambling my little chess heart out
Forgive me forum, for I have sinned. And not just a normal sin. I've been sinning my whole life. (Don't worry, there's not going to be a rosary
I could reasonably wager that my clock control is the worst of any of you on the forum by a long way.
For many years while realising this, I have perhaps, done a lot of attempted rationalisation on such a subject. "I've been taking a long time to ensure I didn't make a tactical blunder/fully understand the position I'm in etc". You can delete as appropriate but they're all on roughly the same level of rubbish.
To give you just ONE example, from many hundreds, let's look at a game I played last month against a 147 (which I'm annotating without an engine, and which was anyways very sloppy), with a time control of two hours.
Out of 120 minutes, I spent the following amounts on the following moves as Black.
move 8, 13 minutes
move 9, 3 minutes
move 10, 9 minutes
move 11, 3 minutes
move 13, 2 minutes
move 14, 12 minutes
move 16, 7 minutes
move 17, 3 minutes
move 18, 8 minutes
move 19, 6 minutes
move 20, 6 minutes
move 21, 35 minutes
And I fell below 5 minutes by move 33.
................................................
I often seem to get into positions where I have enough ability to do some research if I were at home, but often the fact that I'm at the board, and strongly able to calculate relatively deeply means I end up indulging this, be it justified as seeing all that needs to be seen, or sometimes because it's enjoyable. Sometimes for unrelated unknown reasons, I find it much harder to concentrate like this at home.
I think we can reasonably say that part of this clock use is down to my never having formally studied at home properly. I come to the board and every single game brings something new, almost, where I have to sit and begin pondering when I should already have the road map and the dead ends signalled in my head subconsciously. This is a fundamental lack of understanding.
But a lot of it is psychology. Whether correlative or not, a lot of the times in the past that I have tried to move more quickly on a whim have resulted in horrible moves. This of course is because I wasn't using a valid thought process, but oftentimes has severely put me off making a proper change because of a crippling fear of making self-perceptible errors. I hate it! I think many of you may identify with me on this one. It's the most annoying thing in the world to play move x and then moments later, see and understand refutation -x, because it leaves us with a sense of incompletion, of failure to give our all. Such cracks in our mental cement can render us brokenminded as players.
So I've resolved to kill the root, to kill the weed (but not to buy Roundup weed killer), by focusing exclusively on my clock control and the chess issues that go hand-in-hand with it, before I attempt any future development of my knowledge. Because what is knowledge if you cannot apply it, because you spent a half hour doing a Ph.D on move 10?
For this I need help from others. Both in looking at the timestamps of some of my higher quality games of the last few years, to:
1. Help me identity when I take too long on a noncritical position, through overcalculation.
2. Help me identify when I don't take long enough on an important position, through hand-waving judgement.
3. By playing games with me online at a realistic time control (G60 perhaps would suffice), so they can prod me when I need to move having thought too long given the criticality of the position.
I don't know if many/any people will be able/willing to help me in this, but if you are interested, please let me know.